Random Maximum Ride Moments
by bahamallama ding-dongs rulz
Summary: Just a collection of some hopefully funny short stories which I have ideas for. Everyone whose read it so far has loved it as far as I know, except for that one person who said they absolutely hated it... please read!
1. Shopping spree part 1

Hello everyone

**Hello everyone!! How is yall? **

**OK, so one night, I couldn't get to sleep and then an idea hit me so hard that I would have been knocked off my feet if I hadn't been in bed. The idea was for a MR fan fic, a really random one, just like this. It says 'to be continued' but if I don't get many reviews then I will assume you don't like it and discontinue. I already have another random fic and the next part to this one written down in my note book, and they are screaming to be read, so don't let them down and REVIEW!**

**ENJOY!**

**Shopping spree!**

**Max: **I found a credit card!

**Fang: **O. M. G. Shopping Spree! I so need a new dress and I'm almost out of my 'pretty in pink' eye shadow!

**Angel and Nudge: **YESSS! High fives each other

**Iggy: **looks up to skyWHY!? OH LORDY WHY?!

**10 minutes later a Target**

**Gazzy: **TRA LA LA LA!! I am _The_ Gasman and I need spandex. NOW!

**Fang: **Fine bossy boo… Oh Ma Gawd!! There's that low cut, tight, sequined pink dress I saw Megan Gale wearing! They would look _soo_ good with my hot mink pumps! jumps up and down squealing

**Nudge: **Angel, what are you concentrating on?

In front of Angel, a really old man was threatening the lady at the counter with a HUMUNGOUS chainsaw. He looked like he was under a trance…

**Really old guy: **If you let me keep this holds up a bottle of pink nail polish which he took out of a basket that was labeled 'free' you can live!

**Fang: **screaming OMG!! I broke a nail! drops to knees and starts crying Oh no! now I've smudged my mascara too! There's no need to live anymore! Max, kill me now and make it quick!

When Max refused to kill Fang he took a giant sledge hammer out of his pocket and went on a killing spree.

**Gazzy: **NOO! I will not let you hurt these innocent bystanders! They're innocent! Innocent I says!

Gazzy tried to ram into Fang, but he moved out of the way. Behind him was the make up shelf…

NOOO!! I'm gayified!

**To be continued**

**Ok, so by now you should have guessed that Fang is gay and you might have guessed that Gazzy is a superhero wannabe, but what you don't know is that:**

**Iggy is emo**

**Nudge is a tree loving hippie**

**Angel is a sadistic sadist**

**Total and Akila are dead, killed by Angel**

**And Max thinks she can talk to god (it's only the voice) **

**Really hoped you liked it! Please review!**


	2. Leave Max Alone!

**Yo guys! Here is another idea I had while I was at a sleepover. My friends seemed to think it was a clever idea, but I don't think I pulled it off very well. Maybe some time in the future I'll write it again… Maybe.**

**And it begins!**

**By the way, James Patterson is an old man who likes fishing. I have neither of those characteristics so, I guess that means I don't own Maximum Ride. (mumbles crap under breath)**

**Leave Max Alone!**

Fang was on you-rube one day and came across what he thought was a very touching video. At that moment an imaginary light bulb appeared above Fangs head by, which was being held up by his imaginary friend, which later got viciously murdered by a llama.

He decided to wear his very best black night dress for this. Nudge and Angel _did_ say it matched his eyes. He got a blanket and hung it up around him, so that all you could see was him in all his gay glory. And then, he turned on his webcam…

**Fang: **Ok, like, this is a message for the school and erasers and whatever. I'd just like to say that Max needs a break and like, she can't have one while you're all trying to kill us and we didn't do anything to you so like, yeah. I mean, we're lucky to even be alive like, I almost like, died you know? And like, you just never give up! (He started to cry a little) And if you never give up then, well, we can't do a lot of the things we want to like, see the world and express our love… (He looked at Iggy through a whole in the 'tent'.) You're all bastards you know that! Can't you just LEAVE MAX ALONE!! Please. (starts crying really hard) You're really getting on her nerves! (he squealed the word nerves)

At that moment Iggy 'opened' the blanket.

**Iggy: **Dude, are you like, alright in here or what?

**Fang: **_God, he's so schmexy… _(he licked his lips)

**Iggy: **Fang?

**Fang: ** Oh, yeah Ig, just give me a moment

Iggy shrugged then walked away.

**Fang: **So, as I was saying, LEAVE MAX ALONE YOU BASTARDS! You're lucky we're even doing this whole 'save the world' thing for you guys! (At that point he broke out into some very VERY loud sobbing) She's going througha tough time at the moment, CAN'T YOU JUST CUT HER SOME SLACK?! Please?

**Granted, it's not as good as the last one but, I STILL EXPECT REVIEWS!! So press that purple button pplz!**


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